Depression

Today I have come to the realization that I have been really depressed. I cannot think nor speak about Krystal without crying. This year I got a real tree and had my grandson decorate it, I tried to help him but I really wasn't in the mood so I let him do it by himself.....decorating the tree was Krys's thing. I have been hiding out in my room, I really don't want to go anywhere or do anything, I just want to hibernate. I finally spoke to my husband this morning and he told me that he knew I was in a state of depression but he was leaving it in God's hands and I am glad he did because had he confronted me with it I probably would have gotten a bit upset and denied it completely.

So what is depression? Well the dictionary has this meaning: a state of feeling sad dejection (lowness of spirits). Psychoneurontic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficult in thinking & concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite & time spent sleeping, feeling of dejection & hopelessness & sometimes suicidal tendencies.

So with that said I could say that depression is pretty jacked up, I was feeling a lot of the above the appetite thing I can't really tell you because I love to eat LOL and suicide well that isn't on my list, I love God way too much, but feeling depressed well that is something I need God to help me with. I really want to have my baby girl home. You see my other daughters are still near home so they can pop in and out whenever they want, but Krys, well there is no way she can do that from Japan. So now that I recognized what I am feeling and how I have been behaving, I confessed it not only to my husband but also to Pastor Leigh and my dear sister in Christ Jessy. The next thing for me to do is to pray about it and I took the advise of Pastor Sam and I decided to scuba dive ......(today's preaching had to do with finding your answers in the word of God, we need to really look in to it and scuba dive) (of course this is the condensed version of the preaching but this part is the one that really hit home at that moment). I looked up to see what the bible had to say about depression and sure enough there were plenty of scripture: Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. I love this one: Psalm 55: 22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall (this is what my husband did, he casted his cares on the Lord) and this one well see for yourself Psalm 34:17-18 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them: He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

So I can't say that I am totally over this depression but I can say I feel a whole lot better. The word of God truly does heal and I know if I continue scuba diving in His word there will be a supernatural healing, of course I will still miss Krys but there will be comfort and joy.